Here is something I started on another site and a friend, Carol Ann, finished. I snort laughed and shared with DH...he did his version of snort laugh. I asked Carol Ann if I could use her Soliloquy to Black Friday. She said she would be flattered...here it is:
To shop or not to shop...that is the question....whether it is nobler to stay home and away from the crowds....
Carol Ann's deee-lightful finish:
Or to rise before dawn seeking outrageous bargains
While wading against a sea of determined shoppers
Should I oppose them in a made dash to the 40% off table?
Or shall I sleep; perchance to dream another 4 hours.
Aye, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of decadence what treasures might I miss?
It gives me pause to contemplate
The calamity of one item left for three shoppers
For whom would bear the scorn and trampling of the madding crowd
The oppressor wresting away your rightly claimed prize
The pangs of despising humanity
As you witness the insolence of one stealing your parking space
Shall I grunt and sweat hauling packages, boxes and bags?
And yet dread that next stop on my list?
The risk of missing the undiscovered 70% off item
Will I become one who puzzles other travelers?
Making me a bear and casting ill will round me
To fly at another who holds the last down blanket?
Thus my conscience does make a coward of me
And I must contemplate a resolution
To leave my sickle home or anything else I might cast
And enterprise to use only guile and the moment
If I encounter currents of people in need of being turned away
For I am inspired in the name of action
And free coupons for the first 250 customers
And pray that not all my sins be remembered